Fear is not of God

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 NIV

It was 7am Tuesday morning. I should have been at work already, but instead we were starting a new chapter in the Morren household. It was Peyton's first day of Kindergarten and there was a lot of energy in the house. Peyton was excited to start her new journey at a new school. Nichole and I were not so excited as we quickly realized our little girl is growing up and not so little any more. We recognized this was the beginning of a new reality of days without Peyton being home to play, dream, cry, scream, run around, and be a big sister for Owen. Truth be told we were more nervous and fearful for her than she was! Questions swirled in both our minds. Would she do ok going all day? Would she make new friends? Would she like her new teacher? Can we trust the school system to make sure she is safe? What happens if she gets hurt? Who will comfort her in her time of need? Its 8:05am as we say our good byes to Peyton and collide head on with our new reality. We departed the parking lot and only made it a minute or two down the road when I looked at Nichole and she said "I want to turn around and go get her!" Truth is I wanted to go get her too. For the next 7 or so hours everything was out of our control and there was nothing we could do. Fear had already crept inside me. 

Many of you reading this probably have felt or do feel the same way. Many may even say that its perfectly normal and that it is ok to feel this way. I have tried to legitimize feeling afraid for my family. Its wise to recognize dangerous situations or circumstances for ignoring them would be foolish. However, I know that fear and worry is not the response God would want me to have. I should know that what happens in this life is under the control of God. Its never been about me or the control I think I have. My response each day needs to be in prayer to God and ask that His Will be done in all of us and in all situations. Fear is not a response we should have if we belong to Christ. Fear, Worry, and Anxiety are a waste of time and something we should not concern ourselves with. Here are some passages from the Bible about fear, worry and anxiety:

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7)

“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NIV). 

Its now Thursday. 3 days of school are complete. Peyton is doing great just like we suspected she would. I should not have worried, I should not have feared. The Lord is with her each day. I am thankful that I don't need to be in control. His will for her is far greater than anything I could ever give her. Its not about me, but its about Him! Its about total surrender. God please forgive us for doubting and not trusting completely in you! We are weak but you are strong. We mess up the most basic tasks. You hold to world in your hands. You breath life in us each and every day. May Your Kingdom come and Your Will be done here on Earth as it is in Heaven.


-Amen

Hola Amigos

Hola Amigos,

That is my preschool Spanish for you :) Today is/was all about Peyton! My little girl turned 5 years old and I am not sure how that happened. Nichole and I spent the day with our little princess at School and then to a special lunch at CityVu downtown Holland. We could not be more proud of her for who she is and the natural love that she has for those around her. Don't get me wrong she has plenty of attitude to go with that love but she genuinely cares for the people around her. She is smart, beautiful both inside and out, kind, loves Jesus, and learns new things every day. Shes my little girl and she stole my heart the day she arrived. I shared a post on facebook of a t-shirt for Dad's that goes like this:

"I remember life before I was a Dad...When I never knew the warmth of my child's smile or the magic that makes it all worthwhile... When I thought life was easier on my own and when the sounds of tears and laughter failed to fill my home... When my only worry was myself and there were no family photos on my shelf...And when I pause to remember it all, I thank God for giving me my call... And how empty my life would be without someone calling me... Dad."

Now I don't know who wrote it but today after I read that little saying I couldn't agree more. I do remember what it was like without our two little ones running through the house. I remember what it was like to do whatever I wanted, or actually sleep through the night, or not be puked on, punched in the face, or any other thing that makes parenting hard. However, I thank God for my kids because no matter how hard it can be I wouldn't change it for anything! There is no better feeling then coming home to kids yelling DADDY and running to the door for hugs and kisses! Or the bed time snuggles as they fall asleep in your arms after a long day. As nice as it is to get away from your kids on date nights or a weekend away it doesn't take Nichole and I very long to miss them and feel like a part of us is missing when they are not around. I know God has big plans for us all and I lean on him daily to help me raise my kids and love Nichole in a way that honors him. Below is one of Peyton's favorite songs that we sing often especially at bed time. Tonight it too is a great reflection for me. I cut out the chorus after the first time to shorten it. I am sure many of you will recognize it but I encourage you to read it slowly all the way through and reflect on the words of this song just as I have tonight.

Bless the Lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His Holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I'll worship Your Holy name

The sun comes up
It's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass
And whatever lies before me
Let me be singing
When the evening comes

You're rich in love
And You're slow to anger
Your name is great
And Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness
I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons
For my heart to find

And on that day
When my strength is failing
The end draws near
And my time has come
Still my soul will
Sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years
And then forevermore
Forevermore

I'll worship Your Holy name
Jesus I will worship Your Holy name

Every new day we get is a blessing from God and I am thankful for it! Whatever happens I know I have my family to come home to and celebrate all God has done for us. He is rich in Love, in fact He is the author and perfecter of Love. He is slow to anger, His heart is kind, and I do have 10,000 reasons for my heart to be singing praises and thanksgiving for all that I have. I don't know the number of days I will have here on earth but it is my hope that I use each day a little better than the previous one. That I would live into his Kingdom now and die to myself a little more each day. That my kids would grow to know Jesus with God's help through Nichole and I and those He puts in their life. I do believe this is Gods call for me in this phase of my life and though it seems long now I know it is so very short. We have so little time with our kids before they are grown and are up against the world on their own. Lets not blow it being selfish with our time and miss out on such a precious time that God gives us with our kiddos!

To Peyton and Owen, Daddy loves you more than you will ever know. I will pray for you daily and ask you to forgive me even now for my short comings as a Dad. I want you to know Jesus loves you and died for you and is your forever Father watching over you in Heaven each day. He has great plans for you, bigger plans than Mommy or I could ever dream for you and set them in motion before we even knew you would bless us by coming into this world. Shine your light for all the world to see, don't hide it under a bushel or let Satan blow it out, but let it shine until Jesus comes again!

Love you,
Daddy

Random Thoughts...

Hello again my friends....

Tonight felt like a good night to just sit down and write out some random thoughts. The kids are in bed, Nichole is at work, its quiet here. I have two candles lit, some soft music playing, a cup of coffee on the coffee table, its been too long since I have rested in this type of stillness. I am not sure many of us even know how to do that anymore... To be silent, to let the world fade away and just be still or just be present without the world flooding in pulling us in a million different directions. When is the last time you have sat alone in the dark quietly letting your mind be at rest and letting your soul take over and who knows maybe even give God that chance to speak to you? 

As I was driving into work this morning I was listening to a program on the radio about parenting. There was a comment made that captivated my thoughts... The reality that from the time we are born God has a plan for us and the reality is that God has also given us a set amount of time to live here on earth. Now this is not a new concept to me but for some reason it hit me a little different this morning. The reality that we are given a certain number of days to walk this earth and none of us know just how many we have been given. The lady speaking had a story about how much she worried the first time her oldest could drive and said He wanted to go for ice cream with everyone except Mom and Dad. As the kids backed out of the drive way she was flooded with thoughts about what could happen to all her kids being in the same car and she had no control over the situation. How she started to panic and wanted to chase them down and tell them to turn around and go back home and they would eat ice cream at home because the thought of them getting in a car accident was almost too much to handle. Her next statement was profound as she said "Then I was reminded that it doesn't matter if they are driving in the car or sitting in the living room at home, the reality is when the time is up, the time is really up and it doesn't matter what we are doing." There I sat in my car thinking about my own kids, my own life, and just how short our time here on earth is and what we will do with that time while we are here.

I sometimes fear for my kids future as I read the headlines of todays news, as I see the content flooding in over the television screens, the overall selfish attitudes, and lack of love for our neighbors in our communities. The statistics of how many people are leaving the church and never coming back. The rapid increase of divorce, depression, drugs, and suicides. What has happened to us, to our society that we have strayed so far off the path from what our lives were intended to be? When will we see that the degrees, the money, our possessions, and our status doesn't matter? When will we teach our kids (and ourselves) that its not about what you have while you are here on earth but rather how you bless and love others with what we have been given that really matters? How do we unite as Christians and open the flood gates to the broken, the hurting, the poor, the weak, and show love to all people? The true reality is we all fit some place in there, we need each-other, but are too scared or ashamed to let people into our lives. We put on a mask and pretend like everything is ok, like we have it all together while inside we are broken and hurting. 

There is an entire generation that longs for something more, something real, something honest, something true, and to be loved unconditionally.  I think older generations are finding it harder and harder to relate to the youth of today and may not fully understand the pressures they are faced with on a daily basis. There is also a dying generation with a world full of knowledge, experiences, and life stories that need to be told but are being silenced by intimidation and fear. Kids today are intimidating, they're hard to understand, but they need you now more than ever. The masks need to come off and the walls need to come down. Its time to get vulnerable and help them understand their life matters and has a purpose. Stop being fake with them (and maybe yourself) because they are really good at calling your bluff. I think thats the primary reason so many youth are leaving the church, its because they are not seeing the generation before them live up to the call of Jesus. They don't see the love, the purpose, or the real change of the people attending church. The world is full of evil and hostility and the church needs to be the safe harbor for all to come into and be loved by a community of Jesus Disciples. A community of people who have resolved not to judge but to show love and compassion and to offer healing through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. We live in a time where we can reach people faster than any generation before us, yet I believe we have never been farther apart. We have lost the meaning of Family, Love, and Community. It feels more like we just co-exist together, pass each other by, and go through the motions until the clock runs out. Never really letting people into our lives, never wanting people to know who we truly are or how we feel.

So what is my point exactly in all of this??? Maybe its just to get it out there, maybe its to get people thinking a bit deeper, or maybe there are people reading this that would actually like to start making a difference. Maybe there is a group of people willing to break the chains of today for a brighter tomorrow. Maybe there are parents and grandparents that want more for their children then what they have experienced and are willing to be vulnerable in order to make a difference. Maybe we can start to love thy neighbor as thy self. Maybe we can serve others as Jesus did. Maybe we can start to heal the broken and help those who are hurting. Maybe we can be the light in a world full of darkness.

I would find it interesting to see your comments especially if this has impacted you in any way......
Feel free to pass it along if you wish....

Until next time friends.

Love,
-Nick

----------------------------------The ground is level at the foot of the Cross-----------------------------------

Time never slows down....

Hello again friends!!! I can't believe its been 8 months since my last post! That is way too long to go without writing sorry! So much has happened in the last 8 months I am not sure I can capture it all or even think of everything that we have been up to these days but I will try so here it goes!

First we are no longer basement dwellers in Jamestown but have purchased a new home in the Holland Heights area. We learned a lot through our our transition period about ourselves, each-other, and some of our dreams for the future! We also discovered how much excess stuff we have as we unboxed all of the stuff we didn't have in the basement of Nichole's parents house. Most importantly I am reminded how God is faithful in all areas of our life and that our timeline is not His timeline!

Next up the kids! Wow are they growing up so fast. Many people will tell you that time flys by when you have kids but you don't fully grasp that concept until you have your own! Peyton is in her second year of Preschool and she loves it! Nichole and I could not be more proud of her as we get emails from her teacher telling us how much fun it has been to have her in class! She has such a personality and likes to help all her friends in her class and really just enjoys learning new things. As proud as I am of her for how she's doing in school I am even more proud to see her start her faith journey. I am amazed at night at her prayers as she prays for her family, friends, teachers, our church, for anyone that is sick to get healthy, and as she gives thanks to God for all that we have. Its not just a repeat of what Nichole and I might have prayed but her own thoughts and prayers. Even though Nichole and I are trying to lead by example here at home we need to give a huge thanks to Peyton's school teachers, Sunday School teachers, and Children's ministries at church for impacting her in such a positive way! You will all hold a special place in our hearts and we are looking forward to seeing God's plans for her as they unfold each day and each year. We also had our first trip to Disney and Peyton loved it!

 

There is another little guy (who is not so little) running this house these days as well! Mr. Owen John or Bubba as we like to call him isn't slowing down either. Owen is a year and a half now but looks and acts twice that age! He just had his well child checkup and even after being sick for nearly two weeks over Christmas and New Years he's an inch shy of 3 feet tall and 36 pounds! We always said we grow them big but he is a tank! Our little guy has such an infectious personality though and loves to just play and be a boy! Some of his favorite things to do are tackle/wrestle with his sister, play with Choo-Choo's, play hide-n-seek, and EAT A LOT! It comes as no surprise that he is most happy after he has a full tummy! It seems lately though that his learning capacity is doubling every day. He talks all the time and loves to make animal sounds! His favorite being a Lion or Elephant. Speaking of Lion's I liked The Lion King growing up but that boy has an obsession with it and I think we have all watched that movie about 200 times! It has gotten to the point where Peyton refuses to watch it any more LOL! I am not sure 1.5 year old should have his favorite parts in a movie but he most certainly does! As you can see our house is quite busy these days!

Even as I write these words I can't help but to smile and just thank God for the blessings he has given us! Thats not to say its all been easy or that there hasn't been ups and downs because there has but every time I come home from work no matter what type of day I had I am always greeted at the door with the loud screams of DADDY and everything else just fades away. Now most of the credit has to go to Nichole because she is an amazing wife and Mommy and the glue that keeps this place together! She works hard all day with the kids and then still manages to pull off a few hard shifts at work at night! I don't know what God has planned for us going forward but I do know that whatever it is we will walk that path as a family hand-in-hand wherever He may lead us. I am so thankful for each day I am given for with Him leading I can do all things but without Him I am useless.

I do have to admit in the busyness of the past 8 months I regret to say my own personal faith walk has been a bit like a roller coaster. Though my trust is always in the Lord my dedication is sometimes weak. I feel as though I get caught in the ruts of life and busyness and fail to give God the time He deserves. I should be giving God the first fruits when in reality its usually my last. I recently started a new devotion and today was a good reminder for me as I read Psalm 49. It reminded me a little of the Lion King and Mufasa's quote to Simba to remember who he is as he looks up at the sky. I am reminded that though I have been blessed with many things here on this earth they will all come to pass and I need to remember who I am and why I am here in the first place. I am reminded that I shouldn't pursue the things of this world but rather that of our Fathers Kingdom in Heaven. I need to fight to suppress the messages of this world and my selfish desires. I need God's help to lead my family in a way that is honoring to him and that we may teach our kids there is more to this life then what you see. That there is a much greater purpose and that the God who made all things loves them for who they are. Lastly that we can be a light in the darkness or a city on a hill that cannot be hidden.

Psalm 49 NLT

1Listen to this, all you people!

Pay attention, everyone in the world!

2High and low,

rich and poor—listen!

3For my words are wise,

and my thoughts are filled with insight.

4I listen carefully to many proverbs

and solve riddles with inspiration from a harp.

5Why should I fear when trouble comes,

when enemies surround me?

6They trust in their wealth

and boast of great riches.

7Yet they cannot redeem themselves from death

by paying a ransom to God.

8Redemption does not come so easily,

for no one can ever pay enough

9to live forever

and never see the grave.

10Those who are wise must finally die,

just like the foolish and senseless,

leaving all their wealth behind.

11The grave is their eternal home,

where they will stay forever.

They may name their estates after themselves,

12but their fame will not last.

They will die, just like animals.

13This is the fate of fools,

though they are remembered as being wise.

14Like sheep, they are led to the grave,

where death will be their shepherd.

In the morning the godly will rule over them.

Their bodies will rot in the grave,

far from their grand estates.

15But as for me, God will redeem my life.

He will snatch me from the power of the grave.

16So don’t be dismayed when the wicked grow rich

and their homes become ever more splendid.

17For when they die, they take nothing with them.

Their wealth will not follow them into the grave.

18In this life they consider themselves fortunate

and are applauded for their success.

19But they will die like all before them

and never again see the light of day.

20People who boast of their wealth don’t understand;

they will die, just like animals.

I will stop here for today.... But I hope to make this a more regular occurrence so check back soon!